decodethefallenmoon replied to your post: here-and-now-614 said:By chance t…

you’re only good at talking to people online

that is about the most i can do but even then sometimes i get hungry or something and i end up taking a nap

here-and-now-614: Well if someone els asks you something and you can't breath you can have my air (:

but how would you give it to me though like air fills up the rest of the space all around us how do you specify which air is your air and then ensure that only i receive a portion of that air? how would that happen? its not like you could just breathe on me i couldn’t survive off of that

maybe you could develop some kind of fancy suit but idk

here-and-now-614: By chance the universe ever creates a situation where we are at a party together we can sit and pet the dog. You don't even have to talk to me 😊

good because knowing me you could say “so are you having fun?” and i’d probably just giggle and cry at the same time until I couldn’t breathe.

my social skills are astounding

here-and-now-614: Have you killed a man.

no no no like ok i can barely compose myself around strangers i do not think i’d have the complacency to kill a man like when im at parties i try to figure out if they have a dog so i dont have to talk to anyone and can just follow around the dog



u guys really tho im feeling pretty open to questions right now so like you could ask me if i killed a man and id probably tell the truth

.. wait i mean not like i have i was just using that as an example.

dear government please dont think im a murderer, im not im just a tumblr user like all others who gets very few messages, pls


u guys really tho im feeling pretty open to questions right now so like you could ask me if i killed a man and id probably tell the truth

.. wait i mean not like i have i was just using that as an example.

u guys really tho im feeling pretty open to questions right now so like you could ask me if i killed a man and id probably tell the truth

Look, someone actually uploaded this to reddit/imgur! I feel so supported, haha.

This conversation is definitely going in my scrapbook of “hilarious and pathetic messages I’ve received from dudes on the okc”

Acupuncture And My Somewhat Amazement About It


Hey everyone! Just thought I’d share a bit of an update and talk about how acupuncture has been working for me!
I just had my second acupuncture session yesterday, and I am amazed at how much it seems to be helping. I was pretty skeptical at first, unsure as to just how helpful simply having needles in my body would really be. I figured they could probably help with pain and inflammation, but I started going for other reasons. My anxiety was through the roof and my brain fog and fatigue was getting ridiculous (this was largely perpetuated by my birth control, as well). I had muscle tightness in my diaphragm from constant anxiety, too. Realistically, I had a lot going on, and doubted just if acupuncture could really address all— if any— of it.

But, I tried it anyway, albeit very nervously. I knew it couldn’t really hurt me, but that didn’t stop me from flinching every time I could feel my acupuncturist get even close to touching my skin. I panicked throughout the entire time she was putting pins in, but she encouraged that she let me know how I was doing, and eventually I had to ask her to stop. But, I got a good amount in me regardless, and she started helping me calm down throughout the 20 minutes that the needles had to stay in for. As nerve wracking as it initially was, the relaxation during the twenty minutes did help. By the end of it, I felt weirdly groggy— almost “stoned”— and we did a few physiotherapy exercises to help with back pain and anxiety.
Since then, I’m happy to report that my anxiety has gone down, and I’ve had next to nothing for brain fog and I’m MUCH less fatigued. A lot of this is going to have to do with going off birth control, but I do think the acupuncture also helped. I certainly noticed an immediate change with my back muscles and soreness.

I went back for a second session yesterday, and was less anxious than the first time. Though I was still freaked out a bit, I managed to relax throughout most of it, and I’m sure it’ll be even easier next time. This time we tried to address my endometriosis problems as well as the high heat my body has (low grade fevers, I’m sure a lot of us get that with the lyme disease), my bad shoulder pain I’ve been getting (turns out I don’t lift things properly, and my muscles there are always completely swollen) and, of course, my anxiety.
My shoulder swelling is at least halved, my muscles there are much more relaxed and I can even rub them without causing myself discomfort. I have a press needle in my ear that stays in for a few days, it’s been in for over 24 hours now and WOW— my anxiety is WAY down. I felt so relaxed after the appointment and it kind of just maintained. I could feel myself throughout today and yesterday get the beginnings of my daily panic attacks, but they’d never get past the very beginning “building” part of them. It was like they would start to come on, and then just stop in their tracks. I managed to sleep just fine with the pin in my ear, and I’m overall pretty impressed.

If you’re having issues with pain, swelling, anxiety, cramping— I’d definitely recommend giving acupuncture a try. I obviously can’t guarantee it would work, but the worst case scenario is just that it doesn’t. I can’t say just yet if it’s going to have a positive effect with my endometriosis, but I’m hopeful that maybe, just maybe, it might work as well as it has for my ridiculous levels of anxiety!


AvaLynn was attacked by another student on the school playground. We are fighting for answers and for greater supervision at school.

My friend Lacey Harris’s 5 year old daughter was brutalized by another child on the playground at school this week, in Pascagoula, Mississippi. Her face is swollen and bruised beyond recognition, and the only thing the school can tell her is that they “are investigating”

This sweet little 5 year old girl is terrified to return to school. She is in pain and she has been MAIMED. This needs IMMEDIATE media attention. The school and local news are ignoring the mother’s and loved ones’ cries for help. This family needs justice for what has been done to their poor little angel, and not just to be swept under the rug, as the school district is attempting to do. PLEASE shine some light on this situation and force school administration and news media to get some answers!

The mother has started a GoFundMe page to request help for paying medical bills and legal fees, as it looks as though she’s going to have to pursue this route in order to get any justice at all for her little girl. Please, please, share this link on your page. Even if people are unable to donate, please just help us get the word out on what is going on with this poor family.

This is really heartbroken for me and extremely hard to look at.

This is the link to Ava’s donation page.
Please donate and share and PRAY!
God bless you all!

this reminds me of that seven year old girl that was physically and sexually assaulted (with rocks, like, dear god) by three other 1st grade classmates, and the principal had a “man to man” talk with the boys about it and thinks it was just “rough housing”.
they sexually assaulted her with rocks.
it was bad enough when everyone was overlooking violence towards women, but violence towards girls, children, i just. uggh

(via softwaring)

Once again, I will not negotiate with terrorists.


Ok, let’s try this again. 

This has nothing to do with games and is not a matter of legitimate public interest, but is simply a personal matter. I would hope and request that the games press be respectful of what IS a personal matter, and not news, and not about games. This is explicitly about my private life, which has been regrettably forced into the public and framed by people who pose a threat to my safety and well being as well as that of the people I love. I would hope that the effort people have gone through to dress it up as anything more would not be enough to have those who see it for what it is take the bait.

I am not going to link to, or address anything having to do with the validity of the specific claims made by an angry ex-boyfriend with an axe to grind and a desire to use 4chan as his own personal army. This is not a “she-said” to his “he-said”. The idea that I am required to debunk a manifesto of my sexual past written by an openly malicious ex-boyfriend in order to continue participating in this industry is horrifying, and I won’t do it. It’s a personal matter that never should have been made public, and I don’t want to delve into personal shit, mine or anyone else’s, while saying that people’s love and sex lives are no one’s business. I’m not going to talk about it. I will never talk about it. It is not your goddamned business.

What I *am* going to say is that the proliferation of nude pictures of me, death threats, vandalization, doxxing of my trans friends for having the audacity to converse with me publicly, harassment of friends and family and my friends’ family in addition to TOTALLY UNRELATED PEOPLE, sending my home address around, rape threats, memes about me being a whore, pressures to kill myself, slurs of every variety, fucking debates over what my genitals smell like, vultures trying to make money off of youtube videos about it, all of these things are inexcusable and will continue to happen to women until this culture changes. I’m certainly not the first. I wish I could be the last.

Because I’ve had a small degree of success in a specific subculture, every aspect of my life is suddenly a matter of public concern. Suddenly it’s acceptable to share pictures of my breasts on social media to threaten and punish me. Suddenly I don’t have any right to privacy or basic dignity. Suddenly I don’t get to live out normal parts of life, like going through a bad and ugly breakup in private. I have forfeited this by being a blip in a small community, while those who delight in assailing me hide behind their keyboards and a culture that permits it, beyond reproach.

My life and my body are not public property. No one’s life and body are public property.

Sexuality is one of the most personal, hurtful, and easy things to demonize a woman over, and also has nothing to do with my games. Yet large swaths of the gaming community are either unable or unwilling to separate the two. I’m convinced that my ex chose 4chan as the staging ground for his campaign of harassment and character assassination because he knew this; he knew that someone claiming to be “from the Internet” has shown up at my house once already, and he is counting on the most reviled hubs of our community to live up to their sordid reputations. This is another example of gendered violence, whereby my personal life becomes a means to punish my professional credentials and to try to shame me into giving up my work. I’m still committed to doing my small part to create a world where no woman is at risk of experiencing this. That said, I am thankful that even boards with a reputation for being the most hostile places online have been able to tell the intent behind these threads and banned them outright, seeing the hate speech for what it is, and not-news for what it is. 

As much as those leading the charge against me will do mental backflips to make posting pictures of my tits about “ethics”, the real agenda is plain as day if you give it even a moment of sincere critical thought. No one who would terrorize someone and the totally uninvolved people they love in this way on such a massive and public scale could ever honestly claim to be interested in “ethics” of any kind. These kinds of accusations have been levied against any woman of status in any industry, ever. I have been judged because, if you are a woman, you are expected to constantly “prove” yourself, and even mere accusations can somehow undo all the good you’ve done and justify any measure of depraved brutality against you. Meanwhile, I see major support thrown the way of my male colleagues when they are accused of any sort of wrongdoing. Neither of these attitudes is correct, and they are patently unfair and reductive. Nobody exists in a vacuum, and anyone can change and grow into a better person. Heroes and villains don’t exist - just regular boring-ass people with scars and fuckups and moments of brilliance. And every single boring-ass person deserves the space to keep personal matters private and handled outside the shark tank of anonymous internet boards.

Once again, I will not be addressing the specific validity of any statements about my private life. If you have good-faith questions or doubts, I am more than happy to discuss private matters in private, where they belong. But I refuse to be coerced into making my private life or anyone’s private life a matter of public record, and I refuse to be continually emotionally terrorized by people who have long decided to hate me regardless.

I’m looking forward to moving on and getting back to work. To anyone else who has had to deal with this kind of indignity on any scale, you have my undying support and my ear if you ever want to talk to someone who might understand. To the people who support my work and can see this crusade for what it is, thank you from the bottom of my heart. To those people, I love you, I always have, and I always will.

And with that I leave you with the most entertaining harassing call I have gotten


Number blurred out to protect the not so innocent.

"I’m glad your fucking gaming career is done"

i literally spat at that part hahahahahahah

Final thoughts on this whole kerfuffle.


I’ve said my piece about my personal life and that holds true. I have zero interest in ever discussing my sex or love life publicly on other people’s terms. If you want answers about the particulars of a game developer’s private romantic entanglements, please ask yourself why you feel entitled to such a thing. As far as I’m concerned, the only people who have any business in knowing these things are the people they actually effect - and my current partner is aware.

Professionally, I feel like there are some things I can easily address though, now that things have begun to calm down.

Regarding the claim that I have exchanged sex for positive reviews. This has been investigated and debunked, and oh right, the review in question doesn’t even exist. Anything else written by Nathan in 2014, before we started dating, in which I am vaguely, tangentially mentioned at all has been the same tone and coverage as everyone else who covered it. There is no corruption issue here - if there was, you’d think there’d be some talk of massive AAA companies flying out and wining and dining games journalists rather than discussion of Phil Fish’s relationships. (warning: all of these links are screenshots and there’s a small sampling of the smorgasbord of fucked up shit in them) It’s almost like this whole scandal only blew up for reasons other than "corruption".

Regarding the claim that I doxxed and destroyed The Fine Young Capitalists, that is also incorrect. You can read that here in their own words. I know that when things kick up online it can be hard to sort out who did what, but aside from their own statement, there is zero evidence of this. What I did do was be critical of some of their policies on twitter, because as someone who has taught women game design and created programs to help them get started making their first games I get really passionate about this stuff. We have different approaches but share the same wish to get women involved with game development, and I wish them the best of luck in accomplishing that. Rebel Jam is not one of these programs and was totally unrelated to anything having to do with TFYC and came as a reaction to everything that was wrong about Game_Jam - but I will have some really exciting things to announce soon about it that I’ve been holding in for a while until paperwork clears and red tape is cut. Stay tuned.

Regarding the claim that I am the head of a massive conspiracy that is able to censor and shut down all major games press sites, 4chan, reddit, and god knows what else, I WISH that was true. God how cool would that be? A shadowy overlord of the internet, who is also kind of a cyborg? Shit that would be a good story. But that’s all it is - a story. Occam’s razor is still a thing. What is more likely, the pulp story of a lone woman manipulating the entire internet or that maybe, JUST MAYBE, other people can recognize this for the TMZ style bullshit it really is?

If you have any further concerns about what I stand for or if my role in the industry has been one for the betterment of other people, despite releasing a game pushing back against the stigma of mental illness for free on the biggest digital distribution platform, creating guides and programs to make game development more accessible to people of traditionally discouraged backgrounds, standing up for the image of future of indie games even at risk of getting sued back into the stone age, fighting for a better games culture where developers don’t have to fear consumers, experimenting with new formats of distributing free games, helping organize queer-friendly game jams; then I encourage you to watch me in the coming months. I am going to continue trying to break down barriers and disrupt the culture that enabled the abuse I’ve endured from the last two weeks from ever happening to anyone ever again. No more Phil Fishes. No more Anita Sarkeesians. No more Zoe Quinns. No more of the less known, less extreme cases where we don’t even notice or hear the voices disappearing. No more developers living in fear, afraid to speak their minds, afraid to be people, wondering when they might be next. This has always been my MO, this will continue to be so. I am going to keep doing what I do, I’m going to keep being a human with all the flaws and moments of brilliance that come with that, and hopefully I can work towards these goals with some level of effectiveness.

Time to get back to work. I love you all.

ipomoeatempest answered your post: am i the only one that misses the abil…

Hah, yes. Why, what did you like about pinning?

well, like, imagine if pinned posts were still available throughout all this ferguson shit? Like i know it’s getting a lot of attention, but think of how many MORE people it would reach if we could all spend five bucks to make sure it shows up on dashboards.

pinned posts was good shit. it generated huge revenue for tumblr and gave everyone the option to make sure their followers saw things they wanted them to see.

am i the only one that misses the ability to pin posts on tumblr????